You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize