After last night, I could never be a politician.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
