To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How does one acquire holy water?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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