My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
