I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have so many feelings about this burrito
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
