Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
