SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
my liver is dry heaving
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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