If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
