ugly people sure do ruin things
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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