i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is her dick bigger than yours?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
