Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
