North Korea, Best Korea!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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