I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
