I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
