Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
