So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
