I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
