How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
