I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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