so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
