I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
