I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
