Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
