would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
