My pussy is not your playground.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
