I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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