Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She said her name was "party"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
