Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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