i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
