Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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