So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
