just come out here and I will go home with you...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
