Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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