we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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