I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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