you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
