I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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