why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
