I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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