Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
