I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
