Yo dont text me then not text me
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
