if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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