I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
