I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
