i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
