I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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