She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
