were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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