There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
