How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
