Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
