I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
