I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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