I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
