So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I AM VODKA MAN
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
